"I have found the evidence of our son on more than one occasion using - finding foil, black soot, empty oxycontin pkg, even needles. Our son always told us they were old, he didn't want to tell us for fear that we would not think they were old."Great. This is exactly what my son has been saying. My husband thinks my son has figured out a way to fake his urine tests. Then again, his doctor tests him, too. Otherwise, his suboxone prescription would not be renewed.
B's stepdad wants him to pee in a BIG cup. He wants to be sure that B doesn't have a stash of urine. My husband suspects he's found a way to heat the urine and sneak it in.
B is sound asleep. I could not wake him up to pee again. This is how my son has always been, even as a baby. He's a very sound sleeper.
So, here I sit, in my living room. My shoulders are in knots. This is all so surreal to me.
Oh, B says that the meeting at his job went well. Yes, someone stole a large sum of money, but he was not fired nor considered a suspect. I can only hope so.
Is my son using again? I will not know until tomorrow morning. He will have to take a urine test, supervised by my husband. If it comes out clean, then we will continue to test him more often. If it comes out dirty...
I don't want to think about it. I've blogged before, that my son was told he cannot use and live with us.
Dear God, I pray that my son is not using. I pray, by miracle, that all these nasty foils of heroin are remnants of his past.
It's all so hard to believe, though. Why in the world would he leave this stuff in his room for all these months?
I am praying and I have no control over this. Still, it scares me a lot.
I want my son back-- the beautiful boy I gave birth to. I cannot bear the thought of my son being back in the cycle of smoking heroin...or even worse, shooting it-- which he's never done, but there's always a first time.
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