Saturday, February 18, 2012

Rough Roads for my Addict and His Mom

I was re-reading my post from yesterday.  It's wordy, yes I know. I can see that I was trying to process the revelation that after six months of sobriety, that my son has relapsed.

I am often told that I'm a strong woman, who is handling this so well.  Please don't be fooled into believing  it. 

Today, I am very sad.   I fear for my son.  How I wish I had the financial resources to send my son off to a rehab facility for a very long time-- up to a year.

The source of my strength is not my own. I find strength in my Christian faith. For today, I am drawing deeper into my faith for God's wisdom, Grace and comfort.  

Psalm 28:6-7

New International Version (NIV)
 6 Praise be to the LORD,
   for he has heard my cry for mercy.
7 The LORD is my strength and my shield;
   my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.
My heart leaps for joy,
   and with my song I praise him.


sylvia said...

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your son.. My son just got released from county after 40 days of being there.His dad and I made the call to the police after being angry and taking out a bat on us,it was the hardest thing we ever had to do but things where getting so out of hand we felt there was no other choice. He is 18 with no juvenile record he started smoking oxy about 5 months ago then turned to heroin. when he got arrested they found herion on him. He got prop 36 and will start treatment at CHOMP on tuesday. He is very angry at us for calling the cops on him but says he feels better now that he is clean.I often feel like relocating but wonder if that would be the solution and its not that easy to pick up and go. I worry every minute of everyday and I pray and pray not only for my son but for all who have been sucked into this Evil drug. I have just began this journey and feel as though I have aged ten years. I pray for the families that are living this nightmare.I thank you for your blog. Many nights I cant sleep I read your posts and you inspire me with your faith and I thank you for that! God bless you and your son. Thank you

Hope said...

My heart hurts for you and your family. Thanks for sharing your walk with us. I find strength in your writings. My son also is an addict and I feel it has aged me and the world just is not the same in our family anymore . Somedays I wonder how I can get out of bed and go on. I love my son but hated what addiction is doing to him!
Keep your faith and know that we are all here for each other. Blessings to you.

Bobby said...

Mom,I read your post and I can tell you as a recovering addict and alcoholic he has to hit a bottom at some time.Don't give him money or anything to pawn and tell other family to not enable his ability to buy drugs.He has to get to a point where he finally realizes he wants help.he has to want it and must realize he has nobody to enable him.That's hard to do,to turn your son away.I have 3.Show him love,get him food and other things but no money to run to a dealer.Just know,just as I had to learn,he has to go out and get hurt some more.In conclusion...If you want your son clean,the best way to help him is to not help him…he might pitch a fit,curse you,destroy something or whatever,but stick to your guns and you will see a new person. You can email me if you need advice My name is Bobby God Bless and I will pray for you and your son \ the prodigal son must come to himself!

Anonymous said...

My Son, 26 yo, is also an addict (marijuana). He's been in a 12 step rehab center & just turned 12 mths clean. I am 21 yrs clean in a 12 step program. So far, for me at least, it's yet to get any easier. I worry as much today as I did when he was still using. I admire Debby's faith. My program is based on a Higher Power & I do have a relationship with one, of sorts, but it goes no-where near Debby's level of faith. Thankyou for this blog. It helps to know I am not alone.