Sunday, May 13, 2012

To All Mother's of Drug Addicts...

To all you Mothers of Addicts,

I sincerely hope that you family is honoring Mother's Day by  giving you praises, tokens of appreciation-- flowers, brunch or a bauble or two.  No matter what our addict children are going through, we still love them. Unconditionally.

At church, today, the message was focused on being a mom. Of course, it would be! It's Mother's Day.

Matthew 15: 21-28

The Faith of a Canaanite Woman

21 Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. 22 A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is demon-possessed and suffering terribly.”
23 Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, “Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.”
24 He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.”
25 The woman came and knelt before him. “Lord, help me!” she said.
26 He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”
27 “Yes it is, Lord,” she said. “Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their master’s table.”
28 Then Jesus said to her, “Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.” And her daughter was healed at that moment.

If you don't read the bible-- or don't believe in it-- the Reader's Digest Condensed version of what this scripture means is that the "dogs" is referring to the "Gentiles".  This scripture really touched my heart and soul.  What I got from this, is that I do believe that my faith (and I am a Jesus Loving, Bible Believing Christian) and my persistent prayers for my son have been answered.  More importantly, this scripture reminds me that even just a crumb of faith-- and you don't necessarily have to be a devout church-going Christian-- but to just believe and trust and pray-- prayers can be answered.  All we need to do is "ask".  We cannot receive what we don't ask for.

As Pastor reminded us-- being a young person, today, is more difficult than ever.  My son has so many bad influences all around him. Come to think of it, so do I!  Today's generation is so desensitized by profanity, sex and drug use on television, in movies, books and magazines.  As Christians, we are under attack.   Without my faith, I would be weak against all the temptations that surround me, every day.

As I bowed my head, in prayer, I gave a heartfelt thank you to God for all that He has done for my son.  Sometimes, when I reflect back on the last few years, I know that I could not have endured the heartache and fear without my faith in Jesus Christ.

My blog has been such a comfort to me-- it became a place where I could vent, cry, complain and share my deepest and most personal feelings.  I met some wonderful people, who supported me through all of this.

Today, my son is clean and he is employed.  I received a beautiful bouquet of roses and my favorite chocolates from B.  That means more to me than I had imagine.

It means that my son is alive.
It means that my son has money to buy things--and it's not drugs-- and that he earned that money with hard work, and honesty.
It means that my son took the time to buy something for his mom.

Today-- this Mother's Day-- I feel an emptiness and sorrow that my mother has been gone for ten years.  I no longer have a mother to call, and invite to brunch.  Now, I am a mom, and it's my turn.  I have to take all that my mother taught me, pick what's best and let go of what isn't-- and try to be a positive influence on my son.

I will continue to be a praying mom.  I'm so thankful that I never gave up on my son.  He's made mistakes, and he will always fight that demon of drug addiction.  I do believe that he has found happiness and has surrounded himself with new friends, who aren't addicts. Amen.

Today, I lift up in prayer, those of you moms whose children can't call you-- be it from jail, or that they are no longer with us.  I pray for you moms, whose kids are somewhere, and you cannot call them.  I pray for you moms, who are just beginning my journey-- for your fears, pain and anguish.  I know it well.

May God give each of you the strength, courage and wisdom that you need to find serenity in acceptance.  May your addict come home to you-- and be free of those demons that destroy our joy.

Never give up. Pray. Believe. Hope.

God does answer prayers.  I know this. I am living it.

Happy Mother's Day


Cathy | Treatment Talk said...

Hi Debby,

Just found your blog. Hope your Mother's Day went well. It is challenging when you have an addicted child. Thanks for the inspiring post! Take care, Cathy

Cathy | Treatment Talk said...

Hi Debby,

Hope you had a good Mother's Day. It is challenging to have an addicted child. Thanks for an inspiring post. Take care, Cathy

sylvia said...

Thank you for your prayers, I am a mom who spent Mothers Day with my 18 year old son in jail due to his addiction to smoking heroin.
I know I need to reach out and go to meetings where I can meet other moms that are going thru this nightmare. I know i am not alone but I feel alone,angry I ask myself WHY?! HOW?! did this happen!! I sit here and cry as I see this destroying not only my son but my whole family.I know that I have to reach out to god and pray I have to have faith in the lord. I thank You so much for your inspiring post I admire your faith. I need to seek the lord because I truly believe that with him all things are possible. Thank You Debby ...God Bless

Debby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story said...

God bless you, Sylvia. I'm so sorry. It is so important that you take care of YOU. Yes, you need support from people who understand what you are going through-- and who won't judge or condemn you as a mother. It is NOT your fault.

Anonymous said...

My son is so lost. After a brain injury 7 1/2 years ago, he's had a terrible addiction to vodka. I can't even count how many rehabs we've tried. Every day gets worse. We ar all so lost. As of today the hospital won't let him come there anymore. Today my son told me that he doesn't want to live any more. My beautiful boy... How can this be? My heart is breaking. I pray... and I pray.
Have you ever heard of anyone who could stay with him, administer what ever meds, and get him sober long enough to perhaps think sanely?
I thank you for the hope your blog gave me today.
I want to celebrate Mother's Day.. Birthdays... Christmas.. Easter... with my son. Without vodka killing him.

Mike Naylor said...

Hi Debby,

I too have a son who is in recovery form oxycontin and opiates (among other drugs.) and my wife's name is also Deborah. This past Mother's day was our first in several where my son was sober and my family finally felt healthy. My son is sober for two months this time and aggressively working a twelve step program for young adults here in Atlanta. I read your first blog and it was like hearing our own story. I'm starting a blog for the parents in my support group and would love to have you join. My blog is for Parents and I try to share the wisdom of our group in it for other parents who are suffering through their child's addiction. My daily hope for all of us lies in the love of God and trusting in my Higher Power for guidance and peace. I pray this for you too. Mike.

Anonymous said...

There is no proof of a magic being some like to call "god". You people are so gullible it's not even funny.

Debby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story said...

Dear Anonymous,
Christians have been persecuted, made fun of and called worse names than gullible. Believe, or choose not to believe. It's your choice. God will NEVER force himself upon you. By the way, I was once an atheist, until I began to study and read scripture. I'll take my chances. I see it this way-- when I die, if it's all a lie then I won't know. I'll be dead, gone and eaten by worms. But, if it's all true, then I'll be in heaven with my Creator. I'll take my chances. Besides, is what Jesus teaches so bad? Forgiveness and love one another? I wish you the best, and I don't judge you. Amen.

Anonymous said...

I wrote on May 16. Since then things have only gotten worse. Now our son has told us to quit trying to save him... that he'll hit bottom and he'll either live or he won't. He won't or can't communicate. I have looked on live to see if we should/could have him committed. I'm afraid to go to his house. I am so scared that he's managed to drink himself to death. So scared. It's as if he has no free will at all. I find myself wondering if God will judge him as suicidal, or forgive him for the lack of free will the vodka addiction has caused.