These are my son's eyelashes. It's not fair that I haven't been able to find mascara-- at any price-- that would make my own lashes this big! I took this photo of my son, yesterday, while he was napping on the couch.
Just a few quick comments, after reading many of yours:
- While it might seem that I could be "controlling" when I say my son needs to pay rent...and that I'd be upset if I see him buying electronic toys while he lives with us-- this is what I asked my son-- "B, is it fair that you stepdad and I are paying 2/3 of your methadone treatment and you go out and buy an X-Box?" My son paused...and quietly said, "you're right". We are allowing B to move back home to give him a hand UP... to help him get financially on his feet so that he can go out and rent a room somewhere. He will have money to spend, but it won't be a lot. He has debt to take care of, and he wants that.
- To "Anonymous", who said that methadone was far worse than suboxone... I appreciate your candor. However, if you read more of my blog, you would know that my son tried it and it didn't work. The level of opiates he used, and for the length of time didn't work. Bottom line-- I have come to believe that there is no cookie cutter solution to help addicts stay in recover. It is up to each individual. I can only say that methadone is working for my son-- and I am fully aware that he could very well become dependent on methadone for the rest of his life. I hope not, but this is my son's own battle.
- I can't remember who suggested this, but it's a brilliant idea-- my son will pay rent money to his step dad That way, he can't manipulate mom. My husband thought that was terrific!
So, here we are-- my son will move in on Tuesday. I am very proud of how well my husband handled the talk with my son. I didn't interrupt, and let my husband say what was on his mind. B listened. I could see the tears welling in his eyes-- and they are the kind of tears that he couldn't stop.
I can only hope and pray, that my son has learned how hard life is on it's own. He's had roommates rip him off, he's been robbed. He's had a roommate commit suicide (one year ago). He's been fired from a job, gotten another, been rehired and has been there for six months. He's gone without much food, no cable TV and he sorely could use some new work clothes. He's had dirty laundry, he couldn't afford to clean. He's very lonely and has no friends-- because he's distanced himself from the circle of friends he used with.
My attitude is that my son has a new beginning with us. I told him that it's up to him to prove to his step dad that he isn't using illegal drugs. He's been given a thorough discussion on what the house rules are. My husband said he'd give him one month and then "we'll see what happens".
It's up to my son, as to what happens next.
As to why I published this photo of my son-- I never tire of watching him sleep. It's what moms do. I still see that sweet little boy, and I pray he has come home to mature and to start over with us.