Wednesday, July 29, 2009

My own denial

Somehow, I've managed to shove my son's addiction under a rug of denial.

I can't seem to blog about my son. It seems that I have found every excuse to stay busy doing "me time". I spent most of my summer vacation, lost in working on my food blog, photography, swimming, reading, cooking, baking, running errands-- anything to keep me from having think about my son's addiction.

I'm back at work, trying to readjust to getting up early, the commute to work-- and realizing that I have drifted away from my spiritual self.

How is my son? Unfocused. But, is this his youth or the drugs?

I need to get back to reading everyone's blogs. It helps me so much to read other people's updates and feelings.

It's like I'm frozen in denial. I can't deal with my feeling of discouragement.

I need to rely on prayer, because I'm feeling so discouraged. I haven't felt this way in a very long time. I am definitely under spiritual attack!

1 Peter 5:8

8Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.


Brother Frankie said...

this old guy is praying for you!!! i promise.

its dangerous.
that ol lion trys to get you seperated from the safety of the heard. (other believers)

you are loved
Brother Frankie
A Biker for Christ

Madison said...

I will pray for you - but I think getting lost in some of the things that you did on vacation is a blessing. Just add some faith to that and keep updating your blogs. God loves your son. If you believe that you will drive the devil out of his mind. And that's a very good day in my book.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes you need your own time to focus on things you love in order to survive. You deserve a life too. Don't beat yourself up over it. It's not like you have forgotten about his addiction.

Praying for you and your son.


Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Don't be too hard on yourself...we can only do the best we can do. I was thinking today how unfair it is to parents and family of addicts, our lives get so messed up even though we did nothing to provoke it and can do very little to stop it. But, life is not fair, right?

Praying for you and your boy.

ChaiLatte said...

Sometimes we do what we do in order to cope in this crazy cycle of addiction. You are on your own journey, just like the rest of us, and there is no right or wrong. Be kind to yourself and know that you are always in my prayers.