Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Cautious Hope

My name is Debby and my son is a drug addict. Today, I'm feeling cautiously hopeful.

My son found an apartment and he paid the deposit, so it's a go! He moves in on September 5th.
I'm relieved that the apartment is located right across the street from his job and within walking distance of potential better paying jobs-- one day.

Why am I feeling cautiously hopeful? I'm glad you asked. It's because his roommate is also a drug addict and an alcoholic. "M" is one year older than my son, and they used to use together. Isn't that wonderful?

From what my son says, M's family "hates" my son. I take into account that the word "hate" is common from teens. M's family attends the same church that I do, and I know M fairly well. He's been in jail for "making terrorist threats" (something do with jealousy and a girl). To the best of my knowledge, M hasn't been arrested for drug related charges.

M left our area for one year, after the end of a big drama over his girlfriend of several years. I never knew the details and my son is mum about it. M returned early this year and has been sleeping on his mom's couch ever since. M has a good paying job, for this area, and he works six days a week. His schedule is the opposite of my son's.

Tomorrow, I'll share more on that. For now, I'm looking forward to bringing peace back into my home and my marriage. B brings so much drama into our home, that I sometimes have to retreat into my room for quiet. Am I getting old?

B says I've been really grumpy with him, over the last few days. I didn't think I was, but I think we need to clear the air and have a long talk. I will do that tomorrow night, when my husband is away. I don't want to be grumpy. Part of my problem is that I'm battling with my health, trying to stabilize my thyroids and one of the side effects is extreme fatigue and hot flashes. Fun, huh?

My prayer for my son today:
Father, I pray that B's new place to live is part of your plan. Please empower me with Godly wisdom on how to be a good mom. Help me, father, with my lack of patience and the toll that the stress of this has taken on my health. I'm physically drained. I pray that you will give my son and me a chance to talk-- openly and honestly. Please heal our wounds from the lack of trust his addiction has caused us. I pray that my son will take that brave step, and admit to you and himself that he needs help.

To those of you who are reading my blog:
Please read the comments that have been left over the last two days. Many come from "anonymous" and I wish I could contact you. I will respond to these when I have more quiet time.

Thank you for leaving comments. I appreciate your candor and I am thinking and praying for families of addicts.



Mom of Opiate Addict said...

I am happy your son has found a place to live, outside of your home. The way I see it, the transition will be easier since he won't be homeless. I am finding that nothing I say or do makes much difference in my son's addiction. I am happy you will have some much needed peace in your home, time to take care of your needs and health:) God Bless you!

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

This sounds very positive. Its a great start and I am VERY impressed that B is able to pay rent and hold down a job...those are a big deal.

I hope M and B will be a positive influence on each other. Keep us posted.

Her Big Sad said...

Crossing fingers and remembering you and B in my prayers!

Susan DeAngelis said...

I too will pray for your so -- that he casts off the influence of those that may tempt or harm him.


hope is always good