Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Not a word....

Work has been crazy, this week. I think of B a lot.

I haven't heard a word since Sunday night's drama. Nothing. Zip. 

My son got his first big paycheck on Tuesday.

Father God, I pray that my son is using wisdom with his money. I pray that my son is not listening to the temptation to spend his money on drugs. I pray that my son is determined to pay his rent, take care of his obligations-- and I also pray that he is doing something legal, fun and affordable with it. He works so hard.

The only reason that I'm not calling my son is that I need to let him figure out how to live on his own. I'm afraid that if I call, he'll want something...

I live in faith that if something bad happened to my son, I would have received a phone call.

I wait. I trust. I pray. I hope.

I miss him and I love him.  




8 comments:

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

I hate this feeling. It is so hard to detach for me without stopping the contact. I always wanted to reach out and make the call, but stopped myself because of the dread of it all. It is the really sad part of living with and addict, especially a child. I always feel so cold when I have detached, but I know I am doing the right thing for myself and my son when I do. I am so sorry you are going through this empty feeling right now. I read your prayer outloud and think it is great that you post them. God Bless you and your son. Renee

Madison said...

Your prayer is beautiful. No matter what B's decisions are, I believe God is at work in His life. If B is listening to temptation, not paying his rent, not doing something legal, blowing all his cash, I believe with you that God is working in a powerful way through each circumstance to change his heart, heal his mind and set him on a path to recovery. Keep the faith. God hears you.

Mom of Opiate Addict said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Debby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story said...

Thank you for your support and comments. Your comment might be slow to appear as I have to moderate comments for a while-- just until the SPAM dies down.

Anonymous said...

I came across your blog about a month ago and this is my first comment. I had a lot going on at that time. I have a brother and a boyfriend who are both addicted to opiates. My brother has been in rehab a couple times and has gone to the suboxone and methadone clinic. He is now in rehab again. He has been there a few weeks. My boyfriend has never gone to rehab, he has only been to the suboxone clinic. Starting yesterday it is the 4th or 5th time. It really helps me to read your blog and I admire your ability to use tough love. I know how hard it is. I am praying for your son as well as my brother and boyfriend.

Lynn said...

Debby,

You have inspired me to start my own blog. I have been trying to catch up on reading your entire story. I am just on April 22, 2008 but I will get thru it all. You are helping me so much. Thank you.
I am learning how to pray and I pray for you. I am going thru alot of what you are. I just started my blog, its not real fancy and I don't know much about blogging but its a start.
http://whereismyperfectfamily.blogspot.com/
Lynn

clean and crazy said...

hang in there mom, i think you are awesome and amazing, just in case one of your children hadn't said it lately, i didn't want you to forget.

Cheri said...

Standing with you in prayer, Debby! You are not alone, and God will honor your prayers and your faith. He loves B even more than you do, and your trusting B's welfare to Him will not be in vain.

Blessings,
Cheri and Wayne