Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Total craziness & the cast of characters

Welcome to another episode of "The Crazy Cycle of my Drug Addict Son, and his crazy friends"

In order to not lose my sanity, as the mother of a drug addict-- I need to view my son's crazy life as a television show. I need to remind myself that what I "see" isn't always real.  Mixed into the stories, according to my son, is fiction. The cast of characters change, constantly.

Today's story involves the following cast of characters:
B = my son, age 21, struggling to not freebase "black" as in black tar heroin. Type I Diabetic, insulin dependent. Presently employed, but skating on thin ice with his boss.Currently taking methadone.
M = my son's roommate, since September 5th, until November 29th, 2009...not quite 3 months. Alcoholic, former oxy addict, but now freebasing and IV use of heroin. Bipolar, not taking meds, age 24. Split from my son's apartment, but still on the lease with all of his belongings still in the apartment. Paid 80% of his share of December rent. M has a jail record-- not clear exactly for what.
C = my son's most recent "best friend". Age 21. Cleancut, good looking kid, living at home with mom & dad. Currently unemployed, having been laid off his job that paid a decent salary. Graduate of a prestigious private high school, with honors. B and & were friends a few years ago, drifted apart, and reunited. He's been to my home as recently as 3 weeks ago, for dinner.
D = "platonic girlfriend" of "M".  Moved into my son's apartment the same night that "M" split to go into a 5 month rehab, locally.  B thinks she's "cool", and she sleeps there, at night, in M's room. No hanky panky between D and my son, or he'd tell me. (Note: it's no business of mine, anyway and I've never met her.)
Mom = Me. Age 54. Happily remarried, God-loving mom. Full-time employee.  Struggling to not be an enabler to my son, but hampered by a devoted love for him.
Anytime you see italics, it's what I'm thinking, but don't say.

Today's episode:

Phone call at 12:30. My son.

B: "Mom, I"ve had a crazy day".
Mom: (in my head...oh, Lord, what now?)
B: The police just left.
Mom: (Dear God, give me strength).  Adrenaline begings to rush through my body.
B: C got beat up real bad from a home invasion robbery. He's messed up and the police are looking for D.
Mom: OMG!!! Is C okay? I can't believe it! What happened? (visions of a bloodied young man and crying parents in my head.)
B: The police say she's involved in it. They questioned me for, like an hour. I told them to look around, and they did. The police are looking for her, and she's on the run?
Mom: Did they find anything? Do you know where she is?
B: No. I don't have any drugs anyway. (I sure hope not.)
Mom: Are you in trouble?
B: No. Hold on, my job's calling me... I'll call you right back?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I call my husband, in the meantime. We both decide his locks need to be changed. I wait. I pray. I try to comprehend what the truth is.

30 minutes later...
B: Sorry. So, yeah. It's been crazy. I couldn't call the attorney, because the police were here.
Mom: So, how's C? I mean, can you find out how he's doing. I can't believe it. What happened. Tell me.
B: I don't know (he sounds worried) Can you find out if he's been bailed out?
Mom: What? What are you talking about?
B: Oh, I didn't tell you?
Mom: Tell me what?
B: C is in jail.
Mom: What??? What happened? What for?
B: For possession of oxy(contin).
Mom: C's using? I thought you said he didn't use? (duh... stupid me)
B: He wasn't. That's how he was paying his bills?
Mom: (what bills? he's living at home?)
Mom: B. Do you see how God has protected you. You must have a legion of guardian angels!
B: I know, mom. It's crazy. That's why I want to be clean.
B: C was just planning to get "out of it" (dealing).
Mom: Well, it's a little late, isn't it?
Mom: You've never been arrested. Now, another one of your friends is in trouble.
B: Yeah, he's in big trouble. I mean, possesson of oxycontin for sale is a felony.
Mom: Father, you have been so merciful.
Mom: B, God has been severing your friendships... M, just a few days ago. Now, C. Can you see the signs? I think God's showing you that you could be next.
B: I know.
Mom: Everything okay at your job?
B: Yeah, I just forgot to sign my time card.
Mom: You went to your job?
B: Yeah, A gave me a ride (a friend of B's that I suspect uses, too).
B: I'm on my way to see about that job my friend told me about. Then, I'm going to call the methadone clinic to get the exact amount of money I have to pay them tomorrow.
Mom: I'll see you at 5:15. We'll handle the money order.
Mom:  You are one very lucky young man. It's a miracle that you have never been arrested. That could be you. I can't believe it.... I'm worried about C.
B: Yeah...
Mom: Don't push your luck. This is crazy. I can't believe how so many crazy things keep happening to you.

I look at my watch. My lunch break is over. 

Mom: I gotta go. Talk to you later.

No advice needed here, folks.  What can anyone say?  I have to keep a sense of humor when I blog about the crazy cycles again.  I pray for C. I can't believe it. I so liked C!   Stupid! What an idiot! I feel for his parents. They're heart must be broken.  They're nice, "normal" parents. Nice home. Both work.  They must be freaking out. C has never been in trouble before.

Father, I pray that my son is feeling very afraid. Like the Ghost of Christmas, who showed Ebenezer Scrooge what is to come-- I pray that my son will realize the reality of illegal drugs and all that goes with it. I pray that my son will make the right choices-- that he will see that crime does not pay.  Help me, Father, to make decisions that are part of your plan for him.  I pray for Chris, that he is safe. I pray for that young man to have a life-changing experience.  I have been praying that C would be open to a spiritual awakening.  I pray that this will be his chance.

It's all so crazy.  My son seems to be a drama magnet.

Stay tuned for the next installment.


Fractalmom said...

Debby - ALL addicts are drama magnets. Their lives revolve around drama.

they all lie, or conveniently forget to tell you the important things like "oh, he wasn't using...he was DEALING...."

oh, and by the way, if your son's name is on that lease..and the guy was arrested in that apartment...they can come get your son as well. and may.

whether you want to hear it or not, B, by calling you and telling you, is dragging you into the drama, and you are allowing it by your responses.

Wanting God to cure your son is fine. I'm all about God curing addicts.

But you have to PRAY and leave B to his own devices. Give it to God and STAY OUT OF THE DRAMA !!

it will pull you down. so far down you cannot even realize.

just my opinion hon. keep praying.

but stop leading. leading is ENABLEMENT.

Dad and Mom said...

Our son once ask me why do bad things keep happening to me and everybody around me.


Cheri said...

Debby, you said: "I feel for his parents. They're heart must be broken. They're nice, "normal" parents. Nice home. Both work. They must be freaking out. C has never been in trouble before."

Your heart was/is broken. You are nice and "normal." You freaked out when you found out about B. B was never in trouble before that first time.

When I read that, I was again struck by the opportunity God has given you to minister to C's family. You know exactly how they feel.

Hang in there. You are not crazy. "Normal" is just a setting on your dryer. And you are all, including C and his family, in our prayers.


Mom of Opiate Addict said...

I really love what Cheri had to say above. You are in my prayers along with B as usual...keep strong.

Angelo said...

You ain't see nothing yet. If B choses to keep using all that "childs play" goes by the wayside and the real down and dirty stuff starts to happen. Long term program for B. Either that or he's gonna die or do a prison bid. There is nothing in between. Jails, institutions and death.