Friday, November 28, 2008

Suboxone-- opening my eyes

My son is here. I picked him up on Wednesday night. That was a fiasco all of it's own. Do I start with the frantic phone call that he lost his "cash" somewhere in his apartment? So, I transferred $20.00 into his account to cover his taxi and train fare.

My son called me, on a different cellphone, while I was within 10 minutes of the station (a 90 minute drive for me). His cellphone got stolen. Why? He left it "for just three minutes" by his luggage while he used a bathroom.

It scares me how my son can't seem to function on his own. It didn't make me mad. It made me feel... how can I put it into words... sorrow. I waited for different trains to arrive, and I spotted him. He's tall, so I can usually spot him in a crowd. He looks good, though. Yes, I was happy and relieved to see him.

We got off to a rocky start, because I said to him that his drama is exhausting for me to deal with. He gets really upset when he feels he is being criticized. It's so hard, at times, to not say something. I bought him dinner at the Olive Garden. He hadn't eat like that in a long time, I am sure. He slept the rest of the way home.

Thanksgiving was wonderful and we were all together as a family. I did notice that he would wince, or I'd see his legs "jerk". As a mom, I could see that he isn't well at all. My son is taking suboxone that he is buying from friends. That worries me, sick. I need to get him in to a doctor who specializes in addiction.

I see in my son that he just lays in bed. He's depressed and he's sick. I can see that my son is far from being on his way to recovery.

I discovered a website, and I'm finding so much valuable information about opiate addiction, buprenorphine (suboxone) and other information. There is so much information, that I am going to post the link.

My son is at a meeting, in town. He's is with his sponsor. That gives me some comfort. I hope that this helps my son to talk to someone who understands addiction. His sponsor has 17 years of sobriety.

As a mother, I cannot describe how much it hurts to see my son struggling not to use heroin. He has a really tough battle ahead. I'm going to do all that I possibly can to find the resources for him to get help. I'm open to finding a physician who can help treat my son with it.

Here's the link to the website that I found.

More later.


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