Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The reality and danger of my son's addiction

This morning, I was feeling a sense of joy. I had attended a support group meeting, last night. I chatted with a mom, who has a 22 year old son who was in a 30 day detox/recovery program about an hour away from where we live. This mom was distraught, because she had a feeling that her son was using again. I wanted to hug her, to sit with her and to let her know that I understand her pain and worry. But, we both had to go because it was getting late.

I met her son, briefly. He's a young, good-looking man who has a dazzling smile. He reminds me of my own son, I thought...

I wish I knew her better, but I don't know how to contact her. She is worried sick about her son. I can understand, because he is exhibit signs that my son used to-- before he checked in for detox. This young man was agitated, impatiently wanting his mom's cellphone. All night, I thought of her, and prayed for this young man. I could only feel thankful that my son is wanting to work the program.

I've been keeping myself busy, at work and looking forward to spending my first weekend at home-- after traveling four weeks in a row to see my son and to take classes about addiction and codependency.

My feeling of joy and elation has changed, when I found a new website, this afternoon.

I found the guest book and I began to scan the postings. Oh my! Oh my! I had no idea just how epidemic and dangerous oxycontin really is! There are hundreds and hundreds of postings, and they will tear at your heart.

There is so much that my son has admitted to me in the last four weeks. Much of it I haven't shared, because it's all so much for me to handle. I need to carefully think what I can share, and in such a way that it will bless someone.

I can tell you that B admitted that his addiction to OC moved on to be an addiction to smoking heroin. There, I said it. I can't get into the details, right now. I need to really sit and think all of this through.

I need to remember, that even though my son is detoxed and excited about his recovery he is not out of the woods. Especially, after reading other stories.

I need to focus on my job, right now. I will write more, as the weekend progresses.

I have no further updates on how B is doing. No news is good news, at this time. At least, I know he is living with trusted friends.

If you, or anyone you know, is using Oxy-- I beg you... read this website! Learn and take this drug seriously. I am so angry about how frivolously this drug is being prescribed, when it is highly addictive. Worse, I am angry at B's doctor who so freely prescribed subutex to him for almost a year. I'm angry that his father and I did not understand addiction enough to realize just how dangerous this drug is. I have to do something, but I'm not sure exactly where I need to start. It will come.

I need to focus on the fact that my son is alive. I pray that he will be able to conquer this ugly beast-- oxycontin addiction.

Please, God, help all of B's loved ones to have the wisdom in how we can love, help and encourage him. Thank you for your mercy on him. I pray for those who are needing help, that they will find it.



Anonymous said...

I have struggled with my addiction to Oxycontin for the past several years. It finally ended when I lost everything I cared about. All the years I was using Oxycontin, I really did not have any other feelings for myself or anyone else. Oxycontin was my everything, or so I thought at the time. The drug actually made me forget that I loved my family and the life I had made for myself prior to my addicition. I actually began to hate myself. Worse, I was gone. The old me was nowhere in sight.Oxycontin seduces quickly and holds on until you reach one of the following: jail, an institution or death. This the truth and its painfully sad. I am 30 years old now and I have a little over one year clean and sober from OCs and all other mind or mood altering substances. I never experimented with drugs as a teenager. At age 22 I was already suffering with some chronic pain. I sought treatment from a pain management doctor. I had no idea what was about to happen. There was no warning or explanation. The doctor convinced me that I needed to be on narcotic pain medications. Percocet was prescribed to me with a one month RX for 10 mg OCs. I didn't like the OCs at first but in no time, that changed. In a short while I already liked this drug so much that Percocet were no longer needed. I don't even know if I had back pain anymore but I just could not function without OCs. I'd be really sick and unable to get out of bed.My choice to take the pill was gone, now I could NOT live without it. Shortly before I entered detox, I had lost my job, my friends and the trust of my family. I was ready to give up and die a young drug addict. I was stealing from people I loved, selling my precious jewelry, selling my Percocet to have money for the OCs. I lied about everything. I would begin panicking and acting insane about 1 hour after taking my last pill. I'd wake up in a cold sweat if I didn't have the pills in the morning. All I thought about was how to get my OCs. I was consumed by Oxycontin and it was leading me to a very lonely death.I used Oxycontin as prescribed. I did not snort, shoot or crush the pills but I probably became addicted just as fast as anyone who used the drug in either of those ways.Before detox, I was eating 3 OC80s four times a day at minimum and even more of the 40s. I am only 5 ft tall.My tolerance was unbelievable.After detox,I was still in withdrawal and sick for 35 days in treatment. I never want to go through that again. I fought for my life and have one now since I sought help.I am alive now but still have a long road ahead of me. Nobody can understand unless you experience it wish I pray, never happens.

Anonymous said...

I threw my son out of the house today. He stole my husbands debit card and has been taking money out of our checking and savings for the last 3 days. This was the last straw. He is addicted to Oxycontin. He says it is everywhere, he can get it from 10 different people right now. He has sold or pawned everything of value he owned. He is 21 years old. He is the sweetest most loving person I know. He was a high school athlete and everyonet that meets him loves him. His addiction is so strong he cries at night because he does not want to be the person he is today. I've witnessed him in sever pain as he tried to stop many times. The physical addiction is as strong asn the mental addiction. I am so scared that my son is going to die from this drug. I read the stories of all the people that have lost their loved ones. When is this madness going to stop?