Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Update on B's situation

To my family, friends and loved ones:

As of yesterday, I heard that Blue Shield has authorized B's outpatient program until April 30. That will be 30 days of treatment. For that I am grateful. Thank you, Jesus. B has a long way to go. By that, I mean that we (those who are closest to Brian, right now) agree that he needs at least 90 days of treatment.

I was talking with my BFF last night--where B is staying. My BFF and I have remained loyal friends to one another for over 30 years. I have to say, that she has a gift of making me laugh--even at this difficult time. I needed to feel like that young girl of 21, when we first met. I'm grateful that she speaks of B with fondness. He's hard not to like. Her SO (significant other) has taken B into his care, because he sponsors other people who are involved with NA. "C" knows what it means to be an addict, so B cannot get away with the kind of lies that fooled mom and dad. "C" calls my son on any "fishy" story that just doesn't add up. If you knew "C", you could not help but like him.

But, on to my point-- my BFF is adamant that unless B agrees to go to the recovery center that they have made possible-- my son will not make it. You would think that I should cry, at this point. I can't. I think that I am clinging to hope and trust that B will make the decision that he is not ready to be in the "real world" for at least 60 more days.

The opportunity is there, but we have a spiritual battle going on. B is listening to the wrong people-- who think that all he has to do is attend meetings 3 days a week and get a job.
"We" know that he is not ready. He's already showed signs of weakness. Already, he's bought bags of sugar candy and tobacco chew. These are all things he has been told that addicts should not use. His legs are restless. These are all signs of withdrawal. He thinks that he is cured, but his brain is not ready to stop the craving for opiates.

We have seven more days of prayer, and "C" talking to my son. We hope that B's father will be strong enough to tell B that he cannot come home to live with him.

I am concerned if B's dad can say "no" in a loving way. I am learning that the best thing a parent can do to help their child with addiction is to keep things "open". By that, I mean that I need to be a safe place where B can talk to me without me flying off the handle.

I am hoping that B's father will say "Son, I cannot let you come home to me because you are not well". Let's talk about this in 60 days, and see how you are doing." I know that I can say "no", because I want to save my son's life. If B was to refuse further professional treatment, he could very well overdose, go into seizures or end up... I don't even want to think of what.

It will be tough for B to see that he needs to accept this place that is being offered to him for FREE-- and a waiting list isn't an issue. By the grace of God and "C"'s connections, my son has been accepted into this program... if B is willing to go. He can start on April 30th and he can stay as long as 14 months. It isn't posh, but this center has a high ratio of success with addiction.

This Friday, my husband and I are headed to my BFF's home, through Sunday. They have a trip planned, but we all agree that B does not need to be left alone. DH and I will take B to open NA meetings. I want my son to know that I am there to learn and support him.

I pray that he will not be angry with me, and think that I am trying to control him. Addiction is a demon that is very strong. For me, though, I know that there is no demon stronger than my Lord, Jesus. That is the "Higher Power" of the 12-step program, and I am calling on the power in that name.

Please keep my son, and those who are battling addiction in prayer. I feel blessed that we have insurance that is helping B get the help he needs. I pray for those who are homeless, or struggling to do this on their own.


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