Saturday, June 21, 2008

We all have to start somewhere...

I'm so happy that it's Saturday. My job has kept me really busy, and we've been battling a heat wave that my area simply isn't equipped to handle. Air-conditioning is something only found in movie theaters and restaurants. For the most part, the homes in my area rely on fans, because we have the luxury of beautiful coastal breezes and the evening fog that cools down the Monterey Peninsula. Last night, there was no wind and our house was a scorching 87 degrees at 10:30, at night.

I called B to ask how he is faring in the Benicia area. He said that the weather was 105 degrees. Youch! He did give me an update on what's going on with him, so I'll post this for those of you who are asking:

B has been working for his sponsor. For those of you who aren't sure what a sponsor is-- this is someone who has been in recovery, has and continue work the 12-step program and who is to be my son's mentor. B's sponsor is a drug addict who has been in recovery for more than 10 years. He owns a janitorial company. B's sponsor has a booth at the fairgrounds, so B has been working with him. He also said that, on Monday, he starts a part time job working as a janitor. My eyebrows went up..."a janitor...as in cleaning toilets and mopping floors?" "Yes", he replied.

With all due respect for people who are janitors, my first impression was-- wow, my son who has so much potential is working for a janitorial company? Wow.

Then again, I remember that when I was 16 years old my first job was working at a bed & breakfast in Carmel. This was not a fancy place, by any stretch of the imagination. Fortunately, my mother (being German and a neat freak) taught me how to clean a toilet properly. She came from the "old school" in that I would asked to repeat my task if it was not done properly. She was a Task Master, so I learned to work pretty hard.

No, my son is a pretty tidy teenager. Now, tidy isn't the same as organized-- but that's another story! People would remark that his bedroom didn't look like a teenager lived in it! However, if you opened up his closet or looked under his bedroom you would need a Hazmat suit to escape the fumes of abandoned socks that were stiff from crying out to be washed. So, I find his new job to be something I will observe with keen interest.

The upside to this, is that B will be with his sponsor a lot more. This man is my age, so I am hoping that my son will receive wisdom from an elder, who knows all about addiction. I have yet to meet him, but my best friend says the he is a "tall, big, black man with the happiest and funniest disposition". She says that he should be a stand up comedian. That's good, because anyone who knows my son delights in his own sense of humor. My son loves to laugh, and he has a beautiful smile. Of course, this is my unbiased opinion.

He says that he just about has a second job "in the bag" working at a golf course.

So, today, I am feeling encouraged. Maybe the fact that I have reminded him that as of August 1st, I'm not paying his rent from his trust fund that he has stepped into high gear. I sure hope so! Manual labor is good character building. Hopefully, B will strive to work his way "up".

Ultimately, it is my prayer that he will get a job doing what he is most passionate about-- playing golf. He's good at it and he loves it.

I'm still very concerned that B is not going to meetings. The job of his sponsor is to keep on B's tail to go to meetings, if not take him to one himself.

I'm feeling more at peace about B's addiction, lately. I think it's because I'm praying for him constantly and I am trust God to handle all of this. I'd be foolish to think that God's way of handling this is to "cure" my son. But, I do believe that God has been so merciful to my son. I still count our blessings for the treatment center, his sponsor and making the finances all fall into place. That B was not injured in last week's accident is one more reminder how blessed my son is.

No word on a new car for B, either. He has a car rental for now. Given that his father pays for his car insurance, I am letting him handle the whole thing. I would handle things differently, but that's how it is. (For those of you who have missed last week's blog-- he was in a car accident and totalled his car).

Till the next posting-- please lift in prayer those people who are dealing with addiction. In particular, please pray for those addicts who are in denial. Please remember to pray for the loved ones who are dealing with the hurt, worry and financial strain that the addict can burden them with.

In Jesus' Name,

Debby

4 comments:

Goldie said...

I am so glad to hear that your son is a getting job and this sounds encouraging news. I will keep your son in prayer in hoping that he will stay off the drugs. Every night, I pray for your son because I only wish him the best. Take care, Goldie

Anonymous said...

Debby,
This is encouraging news! I too will pray for all involved.

Your closing request for prayer is so important....I can relate to what you are saying....

DD is supposedly going to start her 2nd job (and keep PT job#1...she seems to be motivated to move out and soon!)

I'll keep you posted!
K

Michelle said...

I've just come across your blog while looking for help for my best friends son. This young man (19 years old) is addicted to heroin. I've known him his whole life. He is like a son to me and a brother to my daughter. When his mother left his abusive father he came to live with us. Your ex husband sounds a lot like his father. He doesn't have time for his son but he feels that by buying him vehicles, paying his rent, giving him spending money makes him the better parent. I hope for the best with your son and I can only hope my friends son makes it through this also. It is not an easy life for the addict or for the ones that love them. I look forward to keep reading this blog and I'm hoping for a happy ending. I realize this is an old entry but I'm new to the game trying to learn from others. I just had one issue, when you said "With all due respect for people who are janitors, my first impression was-- wow, my son who has so much potential is working for a janitorial company? Wow." All I could think is "wow that is very judgemental coming from a junkies mother". Other than that I am learning a lot and understanding my friends own battles within better

Debby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story said...

Dear Michelle,
If you read my next paragraph, I mention that I started as a housekeeper at a hotel. I don't think I was being judgmental against being a janitor. What I was implying is that my son has so much talent, and if he could only apply himself he could do better. I'm being judgmental? Calling my son a junkie is borderline judgmental and insulting. My son is an addict. He's an addict who is clean and sober. That dark past is behind him. Calling him an addict isn't an insult-- a junkie is someone who is lost in their addiction and still using. I hope as you continue to read on, you will see my journey progress as I go from scared and hurt mom, to one who become more enlightened and a whole let less "judgemental".