Friday, June 27, 2008

Worse case scenario has happened/Feeling down and needing a lift up

This blog is to be read backwards. As I was blogging, I received a call from my best friend.
B's sponsor believes that B is using again. B has lied to me that he has no money. He has earned $200.00 since the weekend and his money is gone. He has not shown up for work, and that's why he hasn't answered his phone.

Dear God, let his not be true. Please give me wisdom on what I can do. Please, be merciful on my son and give me the strength that I need to make wise decisions.

Please, pray for my son.
This is what I started to blog before I got this devastating call:

When my mom was alive, she used to call me and ask if I was okay. I'd ask her "why are you asking me that"? She'd respond that she had a "feeling" that something was wrong-- and she was usually spot on.

I've been feeling uneasy about B for the last two days. I've been praying that God would forgive my worry, because I know that He is aware of all things that concern us. Last night, I was laying in bed feeling deeply sad for the situation my son is in-- and how it has affected everyone who loves him.

I started to think about my precious baby boy, who was such a delightful and happy boy. He was such a loving son, and we had a lot of good times as mother and son. As in my first blog I wrote, I asked myself again "how did he get to be here"?

My hopes and dreams for my son would be that he is living with me, going to college and having fun with his youth. Instead, he is living 2 hours away in an apartment he can't afford with no job.

This morning, I prayed that God would prompt my son to call me, and that I would hear good news from him. So, my phone rang 30 minutes ago, at my desk. It was my son. Immediately, my heart felt a weight lifted just to hear his voice.

My son is feeling very down in the dumps, as I suspected. One of his friends, that he met in treatment, has relapsed back into drinking. His wife told my son that her husband disappeared for hours. He had recently lost his job and it threw him over the deep end. B was feeling really upset that his friend had relapsed.

Oh, my son is calling....

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