Sunday, September 6, 2009

Peace, in small doses and an important announcement

As I am typing, B is sprawled out on the couch, next to me. He has been here since 12:30 and he has packed up 95% of his things. At last, the garage is beginning to show hope of having room to move and reorganize. There will be a huge community garage sale, next month, so I plan to sell anything he didn't take. As soon as B's last load of laundry is finished, we will drop him off at his apartment with the last load of boxes. This is the last time! I mean it!!!

I slept very well, last night. So did my husband ("C"). It was nice to have our bedroom door wide open, and to walk around the house without having to reach for a bathrobe.


C and I went to church, and I always receive a great message that grounds me for the week.
Afterward, C and I went to "Big Lots!" and I found some real bargains-- A new toaster/oven for $19, a coffee maker for $19 and a set of non-stock pots and pans and kitchen utensils for $34. A bonus find was a set of silverware and an organizer for $10!! I paid for it, and took the money out of B's trust account. My mother would have approved of that, I think.

B's trust account isn't huge, by the way. I have doled it out for my son to buy his first starter truck (since carjacked but insured) and to pay for his rehab (that insurance didn't cover) and basic living expenses while my son was (supposedly) living in a Sober Living Environment. There isn't much, left, but I will not let my son touch it. I want him to have a tiny/modest nest egg when he turns 25.

Anyway, I kept my promise to my son and bought pantry staples for bachelor meals. Me, the aspiring gourmet scratch cooking mom, found it so weird to be buying boxed mac 'n cheese, hot pockets and spaghetti sauce mix. In a way, it was fun for me to take my time buying just enough pantry staples that my son can use to cook basic bachelor food.

I got the tour of B's new apartment. It's fine. It's nothing fancy but it's so overpriced, because of where we live. It's not a dump, and the kitchen is decent. B set up his bed in the living room area. They have very sparse furniture, but I remember that my first place was very sparse at first.

B's friends helped to unload the groceries and some things we delivered for him. They were very appreciative of what had done for was he. I have to tell you that I have grave reservations about his roommate. I will call him "M". For today, I won't go into why. All I can say is that my son and M look, speak and act like total opposites. Think "jock" vs. "gangsta wannabe". B's other friend, "C" gave me a warm hug. They all used together, at one time. They say they are clean. 'Nuff said.

When I left, I told my son I would not be visiting his apartment anytime in the near future. I really feel ready to let go, this time. My son has food to eat for at least a week. He has all the tools he needs to make meals. The rest is up to him.

Before falling asleep, I felt a sense of relief. I visualized B's apartment and that the boys were probably video gaming and talking all through the night. I pray, that this is part of God's plan for my son to "man up" and learn how to survive without me enabling him.

B says they stayed up until 5am. It's a right of passage, in many ways. I figured as much, and I think that freshmen college kids are doing that right about now!

Now, I want to rediscover being a wife and not having to keep tabs on my son. I thought I'd be sad, but I'm not. I am, in fact, totally relieved to have the drama out of our home. I can focus on my marriage, which has survived some rough times. C has been wonderful and supportive throughout this entire ordeal. I love him, very much, and I am so thankful that he is my soul mate.

For those of you who are new to my blog-- and those of you who have faithfully been following my blog-- I want to recommit myself to making this blog my ministry. I hope that you will notice:
  • I hope that my story reaches many more parents who are in the early stages of what I have gone through. I pray that this blog will continue to be a place where I can give support and receive it.
  • You will notice a new change in this blog very soon. It's going to have a new look, to symbolize a new beginning where I am the mom of a drug addict, who no longer lives at my home.
  • You will also see that I will have a new email address and a new profile ID. I finally figured out how to separate this blog from my other blog-- which is my food photography and recipe blog.
  • As always, I wish to remain anonymous. To those of you who comment anonymously-- I thank you for your comments and stories. I wish I could write to each of you, but without an email that isn't possible. So, please check the blog for the next few days. I just might be addressing what you shared.
  • My new email is:

May the Peace of Christ be with all of you.

My story will continue. Thank you, one and all, for you prayers, love, support and friendship.



Madison said...

Good for you. Your openness and honesty will help others. I will keep you in my prayers.

ChaiLatte said...

I love the new look so far! I'm thinking about changing mine as well, as I honestly feel like a different person than when I started it! We have something in the works for a new group in our area, I'll let you know when it materializes and hopefully you'll join us. I'll be in touch. Love, C

Prayer Girl said...

Hope, prayers, love....make life in its fullest possible.

Lovely blog.


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Angelo said...

His his drug program over? Did he go yet? Is he on suboxone now? I really hope you suggest to him to get on the suboxone as soon as he leaves the program or some programs let you take it while your there. I'm glad you are finding peace with you and your husband.

Debby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story said...

My son has not been any kind of treatment center, since October 2008, Angelo. Even then, he was using INSIDE of the treatment center!
He has gone to NA meetings sporadically, but not enough to make much of a difference. He has been using suboxone since December 2008...again, sporadically. He uses it to chip... heroin, suboxone, heroin, suboxone. He is working his own program, and it's not working.

That is why he has moved out. I don't want to see drugs in our home, and that was the agreement to let him stay with us.

Anonymous said...

Your story is not over. You are still B's mom, and he is still an addict. So I'm glad you'll keep up the blogging. I think it will be beneficial to you and to others.

I'm glad you feel relieved. I hope he does "man up" and learns a lot from his experience.


Edward said...

Sober living can be learned through alcohol and drug rehabilitation center programs and practiced at sober living homes.