Monday, September 7, 2009
Today, my husband and I are enjoying a paid holiday. We are truly blessed. Today, my son is working. He is truly blessed to be employed. All over our country, there are countless people who have lost their jobs-- even lost their homes. I am thinking and praying for you.
B has been offered a second job! It's working at a golf course, doing cart maintenance and general work. His friend quit that job to, ironically, take the job that B had at an exclusive and private golf course. B got fired from that job for reasons that remain cryptic, from what my son has said. I have no doubt he was fired because he was using, and pretty much messed up in the head. That was in March of 2008, right before my son hit bottom enough to reach out and ask for help.
If my son truly gets this job-- and his present job will compromise on his hours-- B plans to work two jobs. Essentially, he will work Mon-Fri from 8:00am till 3:00pm and then at the golf course almost every day from 3:00pm till just after dark-- when the golf course closes.
B and I agree that this is either a wonderful blessing-- in that the long hours will keep my son occupied, and hopefully too busy to think about using. He can better afford to support himself.
Or, the extra money will enable my son to buy drugs and fall into a pit of full-blown addiction, again.
Either way, it's in God's hands.
My son called me about 2:00. It was a fast conversation, since he cannot use his cellphone during work hours, or risk being fired. His job is very strict, and B fears being fired. Anyway, he forgot insulin and his blood sugar was at 600. This is very dangerous. He frantically asked me to bring insulin, and then he hung up the phone. I don't have insulin at our home, because I packed it all and delivered it to my son the day he left here.
My head was spinning with fear and panic. But, my husband is right-- we need to let go and let B figure out what to do on his own. B got off work 30 minutes ago, and no phone call. I assume that he got my voice mail that I had no insulin to bring-- I didn't mention this to him, but I do not want to enter his apartment. I was B's new place to be his sanctuary.
I'm enjoying time with my husband. He is so much more relaxed and he's laughing again.
I have 30 days of detox from my son-- that's when the rent is due, and I pray he will have it together. I won't help him, if he doesn't. I promise every single person that I know that I won't do that.
Back to frosting a cake and enjoying a quiet day at home.
Peace. It's wonderful.