Saturday, October 24, 2009

Getting to know my support system & restructuring my daily routine

Sleeping in, this morning, was long overdue. Yesterday was a 14 hour day for me-- my job and then working the football game ticket booth with my husband. We get paid to do it, and we enjoy the energy of the high school kids-- and watching the game in our beautiful new stadium. Still, I was dragging my knuckles as I came home.

I checked my blog and then I decided to visit the other blogs I'm following. I found myself reading late into the night. Then, I realized-- I spend a lot of timing blogging my food and recipes in my "other profile". I spend time taking care of my house chores, cooking for ourselves and reading recipes.

I don't spend enough time visiting other bloggers who are dealing with addiction in their lives.  Why?  I felt selfish and I want to change that.  Before falling asleep, I quietly prayed for my son and for the stories I had read -- and caught up with.

I changed my routine, this morning. Instead of reading my food bloggers RSS feeds, I read blog RSS feeds on addiction. I want to get to know all of you.  You have been so supportive to me! I want to support and pray for you. 

I still feel angst about my son's silence. We did not have a disagreement, or anything.  Having read Madison's post this morning, I hope that my son is avoiding me.  Madison made a comment on another blog (I have so grown to admire her) that spoke to my heart. My co-dependent tendency is to feel resentment when my son doesn't accept my help-- recently, offering to drive him to the DMV to get his driver's license replaced.  Thank you, Madison.  You are right. I need to be aware of that.

I am checking in on Lynn's blog, Where is my Perfect Happy Family?, because she needs encouragement. I am praying that she will not feel so overwhelmed and inadequate and that she will slowly learn to work on not enabling her son.

I always read An Addict In Our Son's Bedroom-- there, I find so much wisdom, written to eloquently.

I am relating with Lisa's pain in denying her son's request to move back home. 

There are many other bloggers I will acknowledge-- so if I didn't mention you, I will! 

Now, I'm going to log off my laptop and pay attention to my husband and taking care of my weekend chores. My refrigerator cupboard is bare and I want tonight to be a date night. 

I miss my son, and I have grappled with "should I call"?  I think I need to let my son call me. He knows I love him.  I have to wait, patiently and hope B is working on his sobriety. With his crazy, alcoholic roommate, the odds are not in his favor. Still, I have to resist my urge to "horribilize" my thoughts with too many "what if's".

Praying for and appreciating all of my blogger friends and followers. Thank you!


Lou said...

I wanted to let you know that you are getting so many unwanted hits from drug sites because of the title of your blog. Anyone looking to buy illegal meds (oxy, klonopin, etc) is going to type the key words into a search engine..and your blog comes up that way.
It's kind of a hassle, but you might want to take the words Oxycontin and opiate out of the title. It will stop people who are looking for drugs from getting to your blog.

Cheri said...

Hi Debby,

I'll pray for you as you restructure your daily routine. It seems I am always in the midst of restructuring mine. I want to be there for all my cyber friends. I want to be there for my family. And I know that I know that God has called me to write our family's testimony into a memoirs, which I am in the middle of...

It's like being three different people, and I'm still trying to figure out the balance.

My heart desires to be a tangible support to the parents who are agonizing through the process of accepting addiction as an unexpected/unwanted part of their lives ~ raising kids/young adults who they wonder if they will ever get settled into healthy lives ~ setting boundaries within their families so they can move forward into futures that look hopeful and happy, even if they have children who are living differently than expected.

Okay... I'm sorry. Don't know why I shared all that here. Just wanted you to know that you are in our prayers, and we (Wayne and I) can use yours to hear and obey God in whatever way He wants to use us in this life.

Have an awesome weekend,

Debby of Oxycontin and Opiate Addiction: A Mother's Story said...

Lou-- I will blog about this later on. For now, I've prayed about it. I won't change my title, because it also leads people who are looking for help. If spammers start to invade again, I'll turn on comment moderation. I was mad that night-- upset with my son's situation and these folks hit a nerve. Overall, the spam isn't worth changing my blog title. It's like asking me to change my name. I know your advice had all good intentions-- and you are right. But, I've not going to let those vultures own me!

Madison said...

In my perfect world, (and I'm not kidding), I'd live in a condo on the top floor and my daughters would each own a condo in the building. That way I could see them every day, kiss their cheeks and tell them how precious they are. (Still not kidding.) I know how short life is and I want to download as much love as I can into them. But, in THEIR perfect world, I don't think they want a helicopter mother. So, like you, I resist the temptation to demon dial them and I wait for their call. In those silent periods, I trust they are not alone.

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Hi Debby! I am glad you got to sleep in and are having a date night. This was a good post. My routine is to read the addiction blog first and I feel like I am ignoring a lot of blog friends I've known for literally four or five years....but they understand this has become a passion. I'm praying for all of too. I am just angry today at the whole situation that drugs are so EASY TO GET. Grrr!

Hugs to you dear Debby :)

Annette said...

Thanks Debby for the directions to others blogs. There were a couple there I had not been reading previously.

Glad you had a morning of rest and getting to know more parents who are finding their way....its a sad, but precious comradery huh.