Hello.. My name is Ryan and I have been reading your blog for about 3 months now. I am 23 and an opiate addict myself. I initially started reading your blog to gain perspective on how it must be for my mother dealing with an addict. I feel horrible for all mothers in this situation but I feel just as horrible for the addict whose parents make getting sober that much more difficult. I am not at all insinuating you are making things difficult for your son as you are doing the best you can. But take what I say with a grain of salt... I am sure by now you have figured out an addict doesnt just get sober over night. It is a battle everyday. A day in the life of an addict feels like a solid week compared to that of a sober person. A week feels like a month and a month feels like a year. You may not understand why your son cant make it more than 5 days. Hopefully that gives you a little insight. I know you feel he needs to be on his own as most parents do at our age. That is perfectly fine, but as long as he is in the situation he is in there is no hope of him getting sober unless he has the will of GOD. You shouldn't feel guilty for helping him get into a situation that allows him the best possiblity for sobriety. Whether that be at your home or a sober roomate. They tell us in rehab that our odds are 1/20 of getting sober. Help create the best possible odds for him assuming he really does want to get sober. Everyone is different but for me I had to move back home. I love my mother very much just as he does you. Being around her daily and having that responsibilty to her helps me tremendously. Yes it sucks if I want to get high but her presence humbles me. She always knows when I am high. You should too. All you have to do is look for the pinpoint pupils in your sons eyes. I am by no means in recovery yet as I just recently relapsed from a 34 day sobriety streak. But I know what doesn't help me and a roomate situation like that would eventually take me off the deep end. Get him out of there ASAP. Maybe I am wrong but thats just my 2 cents. On a positive note, I enjoy reading your blogs and they have definately been of help to me as it helps me feel the pain I cause to my own mother. I hope all works out for your son as this is a miserable existence. But remember we will be better people because of it in the end
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
This comment was left on my blog yesterday. Ryan-- whomever you are, thank you for your honest feelings and suggestions. I wanted to post this, today, to share this with other moms. I have to remember that my son doesn't measure time the same way that I do-- because I am sober and he's not. I think my son wants to be sober, but he is trying to do this alone. He can't. I hope that you will continue to visit me, and talk to me. I respect your anonymity.