I wish I had positive things to blog about, though. It seems that my son's life is a magnet for drama. Right now, my son's biggest source of anxiety is with his roommate-- "M". M is an ugly drunk. I don't like being around drunks at all.
Pause a moment.
I've never admitted this on my blog, before, but I had what I call a "drive by" marriage in between my divorce from B's dad (a 17 year marriage) and my marriage to my best friend an husband-- "C". B was 11 years old, at the time. I met "S" and he courted me very aggressively. I married him less than a year after we met. Cutting to the chase, the reason that I married "S" (against the advice of my BFF) were several:
1. He was nice to my son, and B didn't get very much attention from his dad.
2. I was a single wife while I was married to B's dad. I was starved for affection and attention, and "S" provided plenty of that.
3. "S" was a Christian-- or so I thought.
4. "S" wanted to move in with me, and I would not live with someone I wasn't married to.
What I did not know-- until I said, "I do" was that "S" was an alcholic. He was a "mean" alcoholic, too. S stole money from me. S couldn't keep a job. In the end, I finally found out the truth of S's alcoholism when he got arrested. At that time, I discovered the ugly truth about the man I had married:
1. He had two social security numbers.
2. He had been fired from his last job and lied to me about it. When I found out, he said he was ashamed to tell me.
3. He was selling house loans on a suspended realtor's license.
4. I was wife #5.
5. He had a warrant out for his arrest for a DUI.
It wasn't until I went to the jail to see about bailing him out that I learned he had $7000.00 CASH in his wallet (I was struggling to support the three of us), and that his driver's licensed was a California ID Card.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I divorced him a few months later and it's a chapter in my life that I don't like to talk about. I have no idea where he is. I only know that he remarried less than a year later. I pity the woman.
As for my marriage to C-- he is a God send. I adore my husband. He is kind, honest, thoughtful and I admire how his faith in Christ is growing. I told him everything when we first started dating-- and he accepted it without judgment. I am blessed to be his wife.
Why am I telling you this? Because it's why I have no patience with drunks. I lived with one, and it was my first eye-opening experience. I have struggled to find forgiveness for what he put me through. I still struggle with it, because he never said he was sorry and he left me in debt-- which I finally paid off after years of working two jobs.
Saturday night, I picked up B from his job. B was dressed clean and looked good. (He had eaten dinner at my house on Friday and washed all of his clothes.) We had a nice visit, too. At a stop light, I noticed a taxi. There was B's roommate, waving at us. I waved back and look straight ahead. I told B that I was not going to pull over and offer M a free ride home. That's not very Christian, but now can you understand my anger trigger about alcoholics? B's cellphone rang and it was M, saying that I looked like I "hate" him. I don't. I just don't want anything to do with someone who is in such a dark place. I pray for M. He needs helps.
Back to my son's birthday-- I called my son to wish him a Happy Birthday. We decided that we'd take him out to dinner tonight (Monday) because he had plans to party with M and friends.
This is getting too long of a story- and I apologize for that. Bottom line, I gave B a ride to work. I saw M walking behind him, and I noticed a big scab on M's face. I asked B what happened?
"Oh, you noticed that?", he asked.
How could I miss it, I thought.
B proceeded to tell me that at midnight, November 1, M and B walked to a local restaurant/cocktail lounge so that he could have his first legal drink. He said that M was already drunk and he noticed a car that he thought were "friends" of his. According to B, M stepped on one of the guy's "Jordan's" (shoes) and the scrap (unkind term for Mexican) got mad and beat him up. B said he walked away, but in the distance he saw M getting jumped and then the guys ran away when M pulled a knife.
Nice, huh? This is who my son lives with.
B says he's working on finding a new place to live. I hope so.
I felt sad that my son's birthday was so eventful with such evil things.
The only "nice" memory I have of this weekend with B was when he told me that he has saved all the letters I've written to him-- several which I have posted on this blog. He said they make him cry, but that he realizes how much he loves me.
I can only pray that, one day, my son will want to walk out of the dark world he is in-- and back into God's perfect light.
I will never lose hope. I told my son, on his birthday, that despite all we've been through that I have no regrets that he was born. I don't. He is a gift from God, and I was entrusted to raise my son to know the ways of the Lord. I got a late start in that, but I am committed to not keep my love of God ad my faith under wraps. Though I sometimes feel that non-believers click off my blog because I praise God's name, it won't stop me.
So, we shall see if dinner happens tonight. I'm fighting a cold, and I'd rather be in bed right now. For now, when I think of my son I think of God-- and pray that the prayers being said for him are being answered.
Thank you for your prayers.